It is grammar afternoon at Kia Kaha Primary School!
Zac says,
Miss, my Dad says grammar never helped him in life going forward,
is this going to help us in life going forward?
Ms Barry says,
Letâs see if we can work that out as we go forward shall we, Zac?
Ms Barry says,
Who can remember what the special name is for words that describe things?
Caleb says,
Swear words Miss?
Why do you say that, Caleb? asks Ms Barry.
Caleb says,
Well all the words my Dad uses to describe something are swear words.
You should hear him describing cyclists.
Kiara says
Miss, you should hear my Dad describing Calebâs Dad.
Kiaraâs Dad has a cargo bike.
He does not like people who throw describing words at him from their utes.
Ms Barry says,
Letâs not start that again shall we?
Ms Barry says,
The word I was looking for is Adjective.
Who can tell me an adjective?
Moana says,
Chill, Miss
Tash says,
Mean, Miss
Talia says,
Sweet-as, Miss
Abi says,
All the adjectives my brother uses are swear words too, Miss,
and he doesn't even hate cyclists.
Abi says,
The worst one starts with M, Miss,
and itâs not very kind to mothers.
Ms Barry says,
Did you know that adjectives have a secret?
Everyone in Room 13 shakes their head.
Ms Barry says,
The secret is, they won't let you put them in the wrong order.
If you try to do it, something will sound wrong.
For example, Amelia, how would you describe this marker?
Amelia says,
Big red marker, Miss.
Ms Barry says,
Yes, and what if I called it a red big marker?
That wouldnât sound right, would it?
Amelia nods.
Ms Barry says,
And if I said angry young man, that would sound right.
But if I said young angry man, it wouldnât.
Ms Barry is writing on the whiteboard.
She is writing,
Opinion-size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose
Ms Barry says,
This is the order they go in.
So if you are describing somethingâs size and age and shape,
you'll describe its size first, and then its age, and then its shape.
And if it comes from some place, you do that part last.
And adjectives that say what you think of something
come before the more factual ones,
like
Nasty little German man
and not
Little German nasty man.
Ms Barry says this because yesterday in social studies Room 13 did the Nazis.
It is not because she had a bad time in Munich on her OE.
Ms Barry says,
Does someone want to have a try?
Saskia says,
Wonky old Australian boomerang,
not Australian old wonky boomerang.
Tahlia says
Pig-ignorant, victim-blaming, Australian piece of you-know-what
and not
Australian pig-ignorant, victim-blaming, piece of you-know-what.
Ms Barry says,
Gosh Tahlia, where did that come from?
Tahlia says,
Dadâs old friend Grant from Sydney is staying with us and that's what Mum called him last night.
Tahlia says,
They were watching the news about that guy who beat up a kid in high school
and trashed his student flat
and treated it like a pigsty and stuff.
And mum said
Someone like that will never change.
And Grant said
Oh come on who wasn't like that when they were at uni?
And mum said
Plenty of people I knew werenât. Are for real right now mate?
And Grant said
Everything is just getting ridiculously woke these days I can't believe what you're not allowed to do or say any more.
And that's when Mum just went fully off with the adjectives, Miss.
Madison says,
Hey my mum and Grandad were arguing about that guy too.
Mum said
I know guys like that, in high school they're the jock getting away with God knows what and 20 years later they are the jerk boss treating you like a dish rag.
And Grandad said
This looks like revenge to me why we only hearing from these people now, why didnât they say anything at the time?
And Mum said
OMG do you have any idea how much they put you through the wringer when you speak up?
You wouldn't believe how many friends I know have been bullied and felt like they had no good option.
And then Grandad went off in this rant about
It's all a conspiracy obviously they had this saved up to ankle tap Luxon the moment he started looking good.
And then Mum gave Dad a look and said
Talk to your Father will you
and took her wine and went upstairs.
Ms Barry says,
There's an interesting thing about that story actually.
When you're a new MP and you give your first speech,
what usually happens is everyone is respectful because you're new.
And so if you don't do a very good one, no-one says anything.
But that new MP called Sam, who is the person Madison and Talia's family were talking about,
he gave his first speech the other day and it was so bad people actually said something.
And although Sam went to a very expensive school,
it sounds as though he might have been one of those students who didn't learn a lot about what you can do with words,
but just went on sorting things out with his fists.
And if he didn't learn a lot about what you can do with words ,
maybe that's why his first speech wasn't very good.
So I'm just wondering, Zac,
do you think maybe learning about how words work might help help us in life going forward?
Zac says,
I don't want to be an MP. Miss.
Dad says theyâre all lying pieces of you know what.
