Week in review, waiting by the river, quiz style
1. What did Chris Luxon want from Chris Hipkins?
a. Bipartisan agreement to make no more deals with Winston
b. Bipartisan agreement to get real about the climate crisis
c. Cycling tips and generally, you know, how do you manage to keep trim like that mate?
d. Nothing. It was just a stunt so hamfisted it gave ineptitude a bad name. But alright, let’s say it was a bipartisan agreement to go after more fossil fuels
2. How might Luxon try harder next time?
a. Do it like Clark and Key over smacking, thereby letting your opposition look Prime Ministerial on the same stage and, er, maybe not
b. Do it like WWII and invite opposition into a war cabinet and get real about the climate crisis
c. Do it like Bolger did in 1993 over Super and get everyone to sign an accord
d. Do a Hollywood while walking in front of Chris Hipkins and claim the bastard ankle-tapped him
3. What gift did Trump’s appalling FBI director present to his New Zealand hosts?
a. Suitcase of Colombian contraband
b. Illegal pistols
c. Free all-access passes to Alligator Alcatraz
d. Epstein stuff
4. From which media outlet did we first learn this?
a. NZ Herald
b. RNZ
c. Stuff
d. The foreign press
5. Trump’s speech to the generals tells us he would like to do what with the military?
a. Quash domestic dissent
b. Ignore all accepted codes of war
c. Whatever the hell he wants
d. All of the above, and expand his vaulting ignorance and malevolence into entire fresh fields of wrong
6. With what phrase did Mayor Wayne Brown convey his clear feelings to the Auckland Ratepayers’ Alliance?
a. Begone, demons
b. Engorgio, waving a Harry Potter wand
c. Let’s circle back once we’ve reached out to the relevant stakeholders
d. FUCK OFF
7. With what phrase might one best convey one’s feelings about this Government’s efforts to disenfranchise people, dressed up as democracy reform
a. Begone, demons
b. Engorgio, waving a Harry Potter wand
c. Let’s circle back once we’ve reached out to the relevant stakeholders
d. FUCK OFF
8. Who had to read out an apology this week because the High Court told him he had to?
a. Winston Peters
b. David Seymour
c. Leo Molloy
d. Sean Plunket
9. Asked to assess his woeful leadership this week, what did Christopher Luxon offer?
a. It’s the putting right that counts
b. You know you’re soaking in it?
c. If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by
d. I’m just wired to be constantly constructively dissatisfied…while being incredibly optimistic.
10. Under Sadikh Khan’s mayoralty, what has London achieved 193 years sooner than predicted?
a. Coffee more than 10 quid a cup
b. Air pollution within legal limits
c. Congestion charging
d. Bodies of enemies floating by
Answers
1. What did Chris Luxon want from Chris Hipkins?
d. Nothing. It was just a stunt so hamfisted it gave ineptitude a bad name. But alright, let’s say it was a bipartisan agreement to go after more fossil fuels
Worth noting that a month ago, Labour wrote to the energy minister asking for the same. But their one did not seek the impossible. And it was not engineered to be immediately released to the media ahead of any chance to reply.
I’ve been reading about hapless politics in Wellington for decade after decade now and I’ve never seen ineptitude on this scale.
2. How might Luxon try harder next time?
d. Do a Hollywood while walking in front of Chris Hipkins and claim the bastard ankletapped him
3. What gift did Trump’s appalling FBI director present to his New Zealand hosts?
b. Illegal pistols
He gave police and spy bosses gifts of inoperable pistols that were illegal to possess under local gun laws and had to be destroyed, New Zealand law enforcement agencies told the Associated Press.
Related, from the vaults:
My story about the day I nearly accidentally held up the Reserve Bank
4. From which media outlet did we first learn this?
d. Associated Press
5. Trump’s speech to the generals tells us he would like to do what with the military?
d. All of the above, plus: expand his vaulting ignorance and malevolence into entire fresh fields of wrong.
These people and the Nazis have ever more in common; those people were also in many respects pig-ignorant fools. They just became vastly more deadly once they held power at gunpoint. My comfort for now rests in the absence of two crucial conditions that prevailed in Germany and created the conditions for fascism to flourish: huge unemployment and hyperinflation. In their absence, the power plays seem to keep dropping back to earth with a dull thud. Pray it stays that way.
6. With what phrase did Mayor Wayne Brown convey his clear feelings to the Auckland Ratepayers’ Alliance?
d. FUCK OFF
Didn’t give him my vote, but I have to say I feel a little better disposed to him as a second term looms.
7. With what phrase might one best convey one’s feelings about this government’s efforts to disenfranchise people, dressed up as democracy reform
d. FUCK OFF
8. Who had to read out an apology this week because the High Court told him he had to?
d. Sean Plunket
I’m thinking of making a short recording for future occasions of the bit where he says
I fired off some harsh words that were neither fair nor justified.
You never know when such a thing might prove freshly pertinent.
9. Asked to assess his woeful leadership this week, what did Christopher Luxon offer?
d. I’m just wired to be constantly constructively dissatisfied...while being incredibly optimistic.
Also, from the same sympathetic Audrey Young hearing, this little bit of intel helps explain what we’re being subjected to.
10. Under Sadikh Khan’s mayoralty what has London achieved 193 years sooner than predicted?
b. Air pollution within legal limits
