It is the holidays at Kia Kaha Primary school!
All the windows and doors are shut now and the fans have been turned off.
The great big boxes of free N95 masks to protect all the children have been put away.
The only sound you can hear is the installer.
The installer is putting air filter systems everywhere, even the photocopier room.
But there are not really lots of big boxes of masks.
And there is not an installer either.
Ms Barry is just having a nice dream.
Ms Barry is having a nap on her holiday.
It can be hard to stop thinking about school when you are a teacher.
Especially when there is a Covid and the air is full of it.
It is the start of Term Two at Kia Kaha Primary school!
The children say to Ms Barry,
That wasn't a very long holiday at all Miss, it feels like it only just started as a matter of fact.
Ms Barry says,
Sometimes life just seems to go faster in the School Journal.
She looks around the room.
She says,
If anyone would like a mask I've got some up here.
It is Drama Day because on the first day of a new term you get to do drama.
You can do a play you have written.
Or you can just say some words to go with your costumes.
Do the children have their dramas ready?
They do!
Have their parents been helping the night before it was due?
They have!
Will some of the lines sound like the grownups write them?
They will!
Does it matter?
It doesnât!
Drama day is mostly for putting on your costume and saying your lines in a big strong voice.
Caleb and Tahlia are wearing clothes from the really olden days!
Caleb is dressed as Christopher Luxon-Washington.
Tahlia is dressed as Christopher Luxon-Washingtonâs father.
Tahlia is talking like she is a Dad.
She looks very serious.
She says,
Topher did you cut down the KĹwhai tree?
Topher says,
Good morning Father, how are you?
Topherâs Dad looks at Topher in the way a parent does when they worry their boy might be a bit simple.
He says,
The day finds me well Topher but never mind that, did you cut down the KĹwhai tree?
I cannot tell a lie Father, says Topher,
the KĹwhai tree is something we need to have a conversation around.
Yes but Topher did you cut it down?
As I said Father I cannot tell a lie,
it's clear to me we need a plan that sets out our activity in the KĹwhai space going forward.
So you admit there's a space?
Well yes Father obviously there's a space.
And did you make that space, Topher?
As I said father, I cannot tell a lie,
and Iâm ambitious for us in the KĹwhai space,
our KĹwhai ambitions are limited only by our KĹwhai dreams
and our willingness to put in the hard yards.
Tahlia turns to the class and rolls her eyes.
Everyone in Room 13 laughs.
Tahlia and Caleb sit down.
They are a little bit tired from wearing uncomfortable costumes and pronouncing KĹwhai wrong.
It is Sophie and Saskia and Madisonâs turn.
Sophie is wearing a trenchcoat like the Prime Minister wears.
She is also wearing Red Band gumboots.
This is a joke that Sophie's Mum has made.
It has already made Ms Barry smile, so it is a good joke.
Saskia says to Ms Barry, Miss, this is a play without words is that okay?
Ms Barry says,
Of course Sophie, letâs see what youâve done.
Saskia is wearing a suit and tie.
The suit looks like someone has been sleeping in it.
That is because Saskia wore it to bed last night.
Sophie's mum said to Saskia,
Only if you want to, but if you do it will make you look more like Chris Bishop.
Madison is wearing a suit too, with a bow tie, and a port stain on her shirt.
Sophie's mum said to Madison,
Only if you want to, but if you do it will make you look more like Barry Soper.
Jacinda the Prime Minister has a candle.
She is lighting it!
It is hard to say what this means when the play doesn't have any words.
But probably she is lighting the candle so that everyone can see where to go.
Oh no!
Look!
Chris has a big bucket of water !
He is pouring it all over Jacinda!
Now Barry is pointing at the candle that has gone out.
He is laughing and shaking Chris by the hand.
Poor Jacinda!
She lights another candle.
But now Barry and Chris both have a bucket.
They are pouring water all over Jacinda!
The candle has gone out again!
Jacinda lights another candle.
It is not going out!
Barry and Chris have sat down to take a rest and pour some wine after all that hard work emptying buckets.
Chris is offering Barry a cigarette.
Barry is waving his hands to say.
no youâre too generous my man.
Chri pulls out a carton as if to say,
plenty more where this came from matey.
Jacinda keeps lighting candles.
The room is very bright now.
Chris and Barry turn around and see all the light.
They look at each other and shake their heads.
They go and get their buckets and pour the water all over Jacinda and the candles.
Jacinda looks up with water dripping down her face and smiles at Room 13.
Barry and Chris smirk at each other.
Sophie and Saskia and Madison bow to Room 13.
The children clap.
But they think that was a dumb thing to keep doing to Jacinda when she was only trying to help.
It is Patrick and Zac and Jordanâs turn.
Jordan is plugging in a heat lamp!
Patrick and Zac are snickering and elbowing each other and undoing their trousers!
Ms Barry says,
Boys, whatât the plan here?
Zac says,
Well Ameliaâs Dad crashed at our place again last night and he played us this crackup video.
Everyone looks at Amelia.
Amelia has been staying with Ciaraâs family since her Mum went into hospital.
Amelia just looks out the window.
Ms Barry says,
What was the video, Zac?
Zac says,
Well it was by this noisy guy called Tucker Carlson.
He was all worked up that the dudes in the world are turning into girly men and liberals are going to take over America and then no-one will be allowed to have handmaids.
Or something.
Anyway, he was saying that the way to stop this -
and legit, Miss, this is what he said -
is if you want to stop all the dudes turning into girly men they need to tan their balls.
Okay, says Ms Barry,
and what do you have in mind for this play?
Zac says,
Well Patrick and Jordan and me thought we would do some tanning.
Jordan and Patrick start digging each other in the ribs again.
On you go, then, says Ms Barry.
Although if you'd rather, we could watch a wild video that has kiwifruit in it.
The kiwifruit even have menâs parts, if that helps.
Patrick and Zac and Jordan look relieved.
Zac says, that would be good too I suppose.
Ms Barry presses play.
At first no-one can believe what they are seeing.
Then they are laughing.
It is nice to be able to laugh when things are a bit horrible.
