This man says he would have voted for Donald Trump.
His name is Lord Sir Mate of ANZ
He is here to tell us how he thinks we should vote.
When Lord Sir Mate was the Prime Minister he was always saying
Iām relaxed about that.
When Lord Sir Mate was the Prime Minister, hospitals had stuff running down their walls from the toilet.
Lord Sir Mate has come back to tell us to vote National so we can have more of that.
When Lord Sir Mate was the Prime Minister
he let heaps more people come and live here.
It made the economy go vroom vroom.
That can be a good thing,
as long as you have enough houses
and roads
and drains
and hospitals
and schools
for everybody.
But when people said
Look at all these extra people making the economy go vroom vroom.
Will you be making sure there are enough
houses
and roads
and drains
and hospitals
and schools
for everybody?
Lord Sir Mate said,
Iām relaxed about that.
He is here today to say
Old mate Chris who looks like a deodorant bottle
is just as good at making the economy go vroom vroom as I was.
So you should totally vote for him and not worry.
It is not really fair to make fun of how people look.
Even if they look like an underarm bottle.
But maybe it is okay to say something about how someone looks,
if you are worried they might have a problem.
Do you see Lord Sir Mateās face?
Do you think it looks quite red?
Me too.
Sometimes if you keep saying
Yes thanks don't mind if I do,
and
Oh alright but just to the top,
your face can end up looking like that.
Not everyone notices that sort of thing.
Or is rude enough to say it.
But if the person writing the School Journal
used to be a drinking degenerate,
then it might come up
Anyway, Lord Sir Mate is here to say
Vote responsibly,
be responsible,
don't vote for that impossible pisshead Winston,
give Team Blue all your responsible votes
so we can make the economy go vroom again.
When Lord Sir Mate was Prime Minister,
he had a Mr. Fixit.
One day Mr. Fixit said
Thatās it.
Thereās no more money for fixing roads,
we just want to build lots of flash new ones.
Did Lord Sir Mate say
Wait what?
Won't that leave us with potholes to fix,
Mr Fixit?
No, he did not.
He just said
At the end of the day, I'm relaxed about that.
Now he is here to say
Vote National so they can sort out the pothole shambles.
When Lord Sir Mate was the Prime Minister,
he went to McGehan Close to visit Aroha.
He said,
Hello Aroha of the Underclass I am your friend and I am going to make sure all of you have a home.
But also when Lord Sir Mate was the Prime Minister,
the ANZ bank said to everyone who wanted a mortgage,
Hey you guys,
come to us,
weāll lend you heaps,
because we want more market share.
And so everybody who bought and sold homes got to make out like bandits.
And houses never got more affordable.
And Aroha moved to Australia.
Now Lord Sir Mate has come back to tell us that a vote for National is a vote for looking after everybody.
Not like those Labour clowns who protected you from COVID.
Now that Lord Sir Mate is not the Prime Minister any more,
he can be on the board of the ANZ bank.
He is very relaxed about that.
If everyone votes for the National Party,
like he is asking us,
maybe everyone who has a house to sell will be able to make out like bandits again.
And maybe his bank will be able to help them.
Again.
Full story behind this excellent data from Farah Hancock ā hello Farah, you are the election MVP! ā is here.
