It is nearly the Summer holidays at Kia Kaha Primary School!
The Prime Minister says to everybody,
Very soon it will be the summer holidays.
The Prime Minister says,
If you want to have a summer holiday I would very much get a vaccination if I were you.
The Prime Minister says,
If enough people get a jab we will be able to have a halfway decent summer.
Not a great one because, you know, Covid.
But a halfway decent one.
The reporters are listening to the Prime Minister.
They have recorders to record what the Prime Minister says.
Usually they don't play the recorders back though.
They just say what they think they heard the Prime Minister say.
Barry has been taking his recorder to record the Prime Minister and then say what he thinks he heard for a very long time.
He has been doing it since even before this Prime Minister was born!
It is a long time to do something and still not do it right.
It is nice when you can get a job like that.
Barry says,
Okay so weāre getting Freedom Day on the 15th but not for everybody clearly letās say for example youāre some bloke whose boy can't get home from Australia because of your appalling MIQ system what's the story Prime Minister are you going to apologise and resign?
Everyone listens to Barry and says what they heard him say.
They say,
Yay, Freedom Day on the 15th!
It is the 15th!
Yay it's Freedom Day, says the lady on the Breeze Radio.
Yay itās Freedom Day, say the man and the lady on the Edge Radio.
Yay, we got this dude to eat a bar of soap, crackup, say all the men and the lady on the Rock Radio, go Freedom Day!
But it is not really Freedom Day.
It is more like A Bit More Freedom Day.
You still have to wear a mask.
And you have to say,
here is my code that says I have a bit of Pfizer in me.
And they will not let you bring all your friends into the Thirsty Thursday Bar like it is a mosh pit, even if you say,
here is my code that says I have a bit of Pfizer in me.
At last it is the Summer holidays at Kia Kaha primary school!
At last it is time to wear your jandals and swim and eat a Trumpet and whatnot.
At last it is time to find out if the Covid has got the tent site next to yours.
Ms Barry says,
Remember everything we talked about.
She says,
There is nothing to fear except swivel-eyed people who don't fear Covid, and Covid itself.
She says,
When you get back next year I hope the vaccine will be ready for you.
She says,
But until then, try not to be in the same room as someone who hasnāt got vaccinated. Especially if you see them coughing.
She says,
Dayna and Tane are you still going to visit your family in Murupara?
Yes Miss, say Dayna and Tane.
Ms Barry says,
Can you just stay behind for a minute?
It is Boxing Day!
It is the best day of the year, as long as you are not standing in a line outside The Warehouse, or you are inside The Warehouse, or Rebel Sports.
It is the day when everyone gets in their car and goes as fast as they can to the motorway to get ahead of the traffic.
So when you get there, everyone else is there too.
Well this will be interesting,
says Amelia and Tom's mother Claire.
Claire wanted to leave tomorrow instead.
Or the next day.
Or actually not at all.
Amelia and Tomās father Jarrod does not say if he thinks it will be very interesting too.
He grips the steering wheel very hard.
His jaw looks very big.
The police officers are doing spot checks.
It takes a long time to get through the border when there are spot checks.
It is ten o-clock.
The car is not moving.
It is twelve o-clock.
The car is still not moving.
It is the middle of the afternoon.
It is nearly time to be spot checked!
Hello sir,
says Sergeant Watson to Jarrod.
Jarrod says,
Hungry work waiting. You got a pie for me to blow on?
Sergeant Watson pretends he has not already been asked this 94 times.
Sergeant Watson says,
Can I see your vaccine passes please?
Jarrod takes out his phone.
Oh no!
It is on 3%!
If it doesn't work they will have to turn around and go home!
What might happen to Jarrodās steering wheel?
What might happen to his jaw?
It is alright! The phone still works!
Hooray!
Jarrod shows the officer his QR code.
Claire hands over her phone. It has a QR code too.
It says Claire is full of Pfizer.
And Sergeant Watson already knows Jarrod is full of it.
The officer says,
Thank you everyone, have a nice day.
Jarrod mutters,
Yeah what's left of it pal,
as they pull back onto the motorway.
Claire looks out the side window.
Tom and Amelia and Claire and Jarrod are in Whangamata!
They are staying with their Gran and Grandad!
Amelia gives Grandad a hug.
Grandad says,
I am very pleased to see you Amelia, you can help me with the Internet.
It is the next day.
Amelia is still helping Grandad with the Internet.
Grandad says,
Amelia, if you ask Google a question, do they always get the answer right?
Amelia says,
What do you mean, Grandad?
Grandad says,
Well I heard that Jacinda is worth 25 million dollars, and I tried to look it up on Google and the answer I got was sheās worth 100 million because sheās being paid to get us ready for re-education camps. But that didnāt sound right to me. I thought 100 million was a bit on the high side.
Claire looks at Jarrod.
Claire does not say anything.
But it is almost like you can hear her talking just by looking at her eyes.
It is as if she is saying,
See what did I tell you? FFS. How many more days did you say weāll be here?
It is the end of the holidays.
Amelia and Tom are very brown!
It has been fun swimming on the boogie board.
It has been fun having snapper for dinner that Jarrod and Grandad caught on Grandadās boat.
It was fun going to the cafe and the shop.
But then they stopped going because the cafe got called a location of interest.
When that happened Claire said,
I told you, what did I tell you, and went back into the spare room.
Grandad says to Amelia,
I think there is an email here for you, Amelia.
Amelia opens the email.
It is from Dayna.
It says,
Bro, mum says don't call in on the way back, we have to take our koro to hospital. Soz.
Claire looks at Jarrod.
Jarrod says,
Well that Ranger wonāt pack itself.
Grandad is back at the computer.
Grandad calls out to Amelia,
Hey Amelia, what do you know about the Illuminati?
