Week in review, quiz style
1. What movie foretold this meeting?
a. The Omen
b. Apocalypse Now
c. Terminator
d. Melancholia
e. All of the above, plus Don’t Look Up
2. What is the best road story ever?
a. On the Road
b. The Odyssey
c. The Grapes of Wrath
d. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
3. What is the worst road story ever?
a. Wile E Coyote getting shafted by Wile E Coyote
b. Marc Ellis and Ridgey being Marc Ellis and Ridgey
c. Roads of National Significance
d. Beep beep
4. What steps did the government take this month to protect us against ever wilder weather?
a. Weakened the climate related disclosures regime
b. Weakened targets
c. Sent the space minister to cosy up with the climate-crisis-is-a-lie monsters in Washington
d. Proudly bragged We recycle, we’re doing our bit
e. Allocated another gazillion to roads so you can get home two minutes faster ahead of the gales
5. To what cause is Sam Neill lending his compelling voice?
a. Build moar roads
b. Don’t bring your toxic mining into this beautiful place
c. Make New Zealand monocultural and patriarchal again
d. Devonport Travelator
6. How many of ICE recruits who arrived for training at The Federal Law Enforcement Training Centers over the past three months were later sent home because they could not pass the written open book exam?
a. A few
b. But then again too few to mention
c. A third
d. Nearly half
7. What causes custard to thicken?
a. It has no time for bottom feeders
b. It’s laser focused on getting ahead
c. Three, but the custard has to want to be thick
d. Something something egg proteins
8. What causes the plot to thicken?
a. Andrew tries to quit without really quitting
b. Andrew fills up the news
c. Andrew fills up the pages of Virginia Guiffre’s distressing memoir
d. Andrew goes nowhere
9. Who was in the news this week for complaining about the valuation of his 10 million dollar house on Waiheke?
a. That asshole with the helicopter who sells footy gear
b. That other asshole with the helicopter who used to play footy
c. One of the assholes who stitched us up privatising our trains and our bnz and our telecom
d. The asshole who claims to be our prime minister
10. Which of these was not said by Confucius?
a. The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions
b. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance
c. When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves
d. Let’s be clear, I’m wealthy and I’m sorted
Answers
1. What movie foretold this meeting?
e. All of the above, plus Don’t Look Up
Here we see them bonding over how much they enjoyed the endings of Old Yeller and Lassie and Marley & Me
2. What is the best road story ever?
Whichever you picked, you get $10,000 from the government’s absolutely bottomless fund for Roads of National Significance
3. What is the worst road story ever?
c. Roads of National Significance. It utterly beggars belief how much money they’re committing to moar roads, having crowbarred the system of calculating benefit cost ratio far enough sideways to get all their bullshit multi billion dollar schemes over the bar. I have more to come , and it will be drawing heavily on this excellent analysis.
4. What steps did the government take this month to protect us against ever wilder weather?
a. Weakened the climate related disclosures regime
b. Weakened targets
c. Sent the space minister to cosy up with the climate-crisis-is-a-lie monsters in Washington
d. Proudly bragged We recycle, we’re doing our bit
e. Allocated another gazillion to roads so you can get home two minutes faster ahead of the gales
Or to put it another way: less than none because they’re actually taking us backwards.
5. To what cause is Sam Neill leading his compelling voice?
b. Don’t bring your toxic mining into this beautiful place.
6. How many of ICE recruits who arrived for training at The Federal Law Enforcement Training Centers over the past three months were later sent home because they could not pass the written open book exam?
d. Nearly half, according to this report
The academic requirement includes an exam where officers are allowed to consult their textbooks and notes at the end of a legal course on the Immigration and Nationality Act and the Fourth Amendment, which outlines when officers can and cannot conduct searches and seizures.
Best description this week of ICE: like the gestapo but for cowards
Another week of the same carsick sensations: you see the protests in Portland blunting the menace using humour, absurdity and frog costumes and you feel reassured; you see the wreckage of the White House East Wing and you think fuck this guy what’s it going to take?
7. What causes custard to thicken?
d. As the temperature rises, the proteins in the egg yolks unfold and bond together, forming a network that traps liquid and creates that smooth, thick texture.
8. What causes the plot to thicken?
Whatever you picked as your answer, give yourself a 30 room lodge at Windsor Castle on a peppercorn rental. How’s the serenity? How’s your sense of entitlement?
9. Who was in the news this week for complaining about the valuation of his 10 million dollar house on Waiheke?
d. The asshole who claims to be our prime minister. Seriously, they challenge the valuation on their house to get the rates bill down by 8 grand and he expects us to even like him, let alone vote for him?
10. Which of these was not said by Confucius?
d. Let’s be clear, I’m wealthy and I’m sorted
