A Good Keen Mania

Week in review, quiz style

1. You anoint a CEO to be Prime Minister because you think CEO’s are the absolute business.

But then he turns out to be a dud root at governmenting.

Does this give you cause to say: “Maybe there’s not actually that much value in asking CEOs for their reckons about governmenting”?

a. Not if you’re the New Zealand Herald

b. Good point. Maybe we could ask a panel of interesting and admired New Zealanders instead.

c. I mean A panel. Not The Panel

d. All of the above

2. What is the most accurate description of the government’s burst of school construction spending?

a. Innovative

b. Imaginative

c. Inspiring

d. Frantically trying to pull out of nose dive having stalled the plane

3. If an escalator stops, what do you do?

a. Walk up the steps in front of you using your legs

b. Run up the steps two at time to get there just as fast

c. Skip up them backwards to demonstrate your agility

d. Stay rooted to the spot, fuming while the world’s press films you, then declare the whole thing a sinister and deadly plot.

4. For what terrible condition have scientists found a cure?

a. 47th president of the United States

b. Huntingdons disease

c. Neoliberalism

d. Immobilised escalator

5. What is a mononym?

a. A name composed of only one word

b. A very dull hymn

c. The sound you make when your teeth get stuck together by a Mintie

d. The sound a very stupid person makes when they think they are stuck on an escalator

6. What is the name of the National party leader who was replaced by Judith Collins?(No clues)

7. What song are they playing? (No clues)

8. Having read through the following, who should you vote for these elections?

a. Every single woman you can, just to make a damn point

b. No-one who even remotely resembles this

c. No-one whose supporters even remotely resemble this

d. Anyone who reminds you of Sonja Davies

9. What is Ireland’s second-best-selling music act after U2?

a. Enya

b. Boomtown Rats

c. Van Morrison

d. Gilbert O’Sullivan

10. What is the name of the forthcoming bestseller by Te Radar and Ruth Spencer?

a. I Can’t Believe It’s Not DB Bitter!

b. You Know You’re Soaking In It!

c. Kiwi Country: Rural New Zealand in 100 Objects

d. A Good Keen Mania

Answers

d. All of the above

2. What is the most accurate description of the government’s burst of school construction spending?

d. Frantically pulling out of a nose dive having stalled the plane

3. If an escalator stops, what do you do?

Anything but d.

Turns out the UN escalator stopped because a White House camera person inadvertently triggered a safety mechanism. But that didn’t stop The White House press secretary from going DefCon 9 and a Fox maniac ranting about bombing and burning the UN or some such insane shit. Just like the Nazis, they’re equally dimwitted, hair-triggered and deadly.

4. For what terrible condition have scientists found a cure?

b. Huntingdons disease. Absolutely hooray for science, absolutely hold your breath for it to continue on its enlightening way.

5. What is a mononym?

a. A name composed of only one word

6. What is the name of the National party leader who was replaced by Judith Collins?

Answer: Todd Mueller, and here’s why there was no clue