Spotify says I have a full of head of hair and I could be a DJ

Week in review, quiz style, featuring our flat-pack prime minister

1. What is the Prime Minister saying here?

a. This is the number Judith said she’d quit at and I blew past that months ago LOL

b. Spotify says I have a full of head of hair and I could be a DJ

c. Just call me Nero

d. They told me to get in front of the cameras and say to New Zealanders I CARE. Too easy! Also managed to grab some meatballs while we were there because life’s all about maximising opportunity.

2. The government has rejected how many of the Climate Change Commission’s recommendations to strengthen New Zealand’s emissions targets?

a. None

b. One

c. Too few to mention

d. Fricken all of them

3. Which of these media frequent flyers has the most hot air points?

a. Winston Peters

b. Shane Jones

c. Simeon Brown

d. David Seymour

e. A principal who’s only ever sticking up for the kids

4. In the pandemic, we had sweeping restrictions on all non-essential movement throughout the country, we had big arguments over masks and vaccines and the government debt, we had protests, and we had a lot of people saying it was just a cold, and we had 10,000 deaths. Which country are we?

a. UK

b. Australia

c. New Zealand

d. Greece

5. What do you have if you are in possession of a GRINDSET?

a. A lot of phone numbers for men who know how to dress well

b. Motivation to an extreme degree

c. A tradie’s toolbox

d. The complete set of Ed Sheeran lyrics

6. What did Ed Sheeran play in Game of Thrones?

a. A Lannister soldier named Eddie

b. A lute

c. Hide the sausage with Cersei

d. Don’t let the Son Go Down On Me

7. What did Chris Bishop fail to do, according to off-the-record reporting last weekend?

a. Stand up a leadership challenge

b. Stand up an IKEA table

c. Stand up a decent housing policy

d. Stand up

8. A failed inventor builds a machine that converts water into food, and becomes a local hero when tasty treats fall from the sky like rain. What is this beloved children’s tale called?

a. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

b. Seymour With a Chance of Food Poisoning

c. Shabby With a Chance of Luxon

9. What were the last words of Admiral Horatio Nelson?

a. Unhand her you brute

b. Thank God, I have done my duty

c. Give me one, Hardy

d. I wish I’d spent more time at the office

e. Just promise you won’t put in any cycle lanes

10. It started as a bit of fun between neighbours, slowly spread up and down the street, and now nearly all the households between Ponsonby Road and Wellington Street take part. What is it?

a. Making a dick of yourself about your Spotify age

b. Low-carb home brew

c. Building a scarecrow out of left-over flat pack pieces

d. Christmas lights

ANSWERS

1. What is the Prime Minister saying here?

Give yourself 27 points for whatever answer you picked. Spotify told him that’s his listening age. All credit to Spotify, at least they managed to get him to listen.

2. The government has rejected how many of the Climate Change Commission’s recommendations to strengthen New Zealand’s emissions targets?

d. Fricken all of them. Honestly. Sooner these people are gone and we can ge back to fixing things the better.

3. Which of these media frequent flyers has the most hot air points?

If you picked anyone but e. A principal who’s only ever sticking up for the kids, give yourself another 27.

d. Greece.

5. What do you have if you are in possession of a GRINDSET?

b. A mindset fanatical about grinding, or extreme striving towards one’s goals.