1. Where in the world did our Prime Minister go this week?
a. Scandinavia to learn about cutting edge green energy thinking
b. White House to express our alarm as decent people at what the fuck has been going on
c. China, to talk up investment in our green energy future
d. Samoa to look like a motel table
2. What happened at the Black Dog Tavern in Mākōtuku last weekend?
a. Working bee for the school pool
b. Symposium on Trans rights
c. Chook Henderson won the meat raffle
d. A book burning
3. How much are they charging for a litre of 91 this week?
a. Practically giving it away
b. A million Fly Buys points
c. $3.17
d. Don’t know but anyway it’s all Jacinda’s fault
4. What responses has Nicola Willis offered to the fuel crisis?
a. Massive borrowing to invest in a brilliant renewable energy future
b. A free e-bike for anyone who wants one
c. A free bike for anyone who wants one
d. A free lecture on why giving money to people in a crisis is a bad idea
5. True or false: Trump lifted oil sanctions on Russia
a. Lies, America executed the Rosenbergs for giving some secrets to the Russians, FFS. It’s just not something an American president would do
b. Yep
6. There is an exodus going on of what to Australia?
a. Russian oligarchs
b. Brit influencers who hate paying tax and now hate Dubai
c. Koalas coming to the end of their gap year
d. Thirty/forty-something New Zealanders
7. For what has Chris Luxon acquired a reputation?
a. Won’t cop out when there’s danger all about
b. Private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks
c. No one understands him but his woman
d. Didn’t ask to be made a matai but totally acts like someone who would
8. What controversial purchase did our navy make?
a. A Russian sub
b. A billion in Trump crypto
c. Cocaine and strippers for a court martial
d. A Devonport house for 4.3 million
9. What has become a metaphor for being comparatively inexpensive and getting you real good bang for your buck?
a. Iranian drones
b. US missiles
c. Petrol-powered utes
10. What is the next line in this 70s classic?
I woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered?
a. Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
b. I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
c. Seems it never rains in Southern California
d. Started hummin’ a song from 1962
Answers
1. Where in the world did our Prime Minister go this week?
d. Samoa to look like a motel table
2. What happened at the Black Dog Tavern in Mākōtuku last weekend?
d. A book burning. Dicks.
3. How much are they charging for a litre of 91 this week?
c. $3.17, according to Gaspy
4. What responses has Nicola Willis offered to the fuel crisis?
d. A free lecture on why giving money to people in a crisis is a bad idea
Yes I know that’s not an answer to the immediate problem but it is the best answer to the coming biggest and very much reacted problems namely the clock is running out on petrol. We could be left behind; conversely, we could lead the world in being smarter about this and making the most of the transition.
As for that whole
South Auckland I feel your pain,
shout out to the Mum driving to her cleaning shift,
I see you and your whanau clearing those Koru Lounge plates away,
we’re all in this together,
what a way to proffer your faux care, even as you declare your intention to do sweet fuckall in the name of fiscal purity. If only these midgets of vision could stop worrying about whether every last dollar is going to a deserving pocket and fix their eyes instead on the vastly larger investment imperative ahead of us.
5. True or false: Trump lifted oil sanctions on Russia
b. Yep
6. There is an exodus going on of what to Australia?
d. Thirty/forty-something New Zealanders. Please see Answers 1, 2, 3, 4, and also 7 and 8.
7. For what has Chris Luxon acquired a reputation?
d. Didn’t ask to be made a matai but totally acts like someone who would
I get by on two hours’ sleep a month, I’ve worked in 400 countries, I eat two motivational books a day & I rescued Air NZ single handed. I’m also incredibly humble so it goes against my nature to ask but I was just wondering, guys would you like to erect a 200 foot statue of me at Auckland Airport?
8. What controversial purchase did our navy make?
d. A Devonport house for 4.3 million
A few years ago, the lovely old Anglican church that sits amongst the RNZ Navy properties on Calliope Road was deconsecrated and sold to some eager renovators who fancied making a home out of a cold draughty brick construction.
It kind of worked, all of which you can see in an interesting doco on the project made by Margot McRae of this parish.
But then they decided to sell it, and long story short, it’s now owned but the RNZ Navy who paid 4.3 mill for it.
Why? Possibly because there was some mystery buyer in the offing who might be hazardous to our national security interests. Or possibly someone just looked up and said, hey they could look over the fence right into our business, that’s not a good idea.
All I know is this: years ago friends who live opposite the navy base had a New Year’s party and come the hour of rocketing, and not wanting to make a hazard in their immediate vicinity, went and across the road rested the whole stack of ordnance against the navy gate and let it rip. I wondered if we might soon have flashing lights in all directions but no, nobody came running, no agents were deployed. It’s how we roll around here. Or maybe was.
9. What has become a metaphor for being comparatively inexpensive and getting you real good bang for your buck?
a. Iranian drones
For example: The drone is to warfare as the solar panel is to energy: small, cheap, harder to centralize and control. We’re seeing the sudden rise of both technologies.
10. What is the next line in this 70s classic?
I woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
d. Started hummin’ a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves?
