Week in review, quiz style
1. What was the name of the ship that left London for New Zealand in 1859 and never made it?
a. The Back on Track
b. The Regulatory Standards
c. The Think Big
d. The Burmah
2. Labour will repeal what in the first 100 days?
a. Being cautious
b. Regulatory Standards bill
c. Michelin stars awarded under Fast Track application
d. Any stupid shit about getting our mojo back
3. Schools in their hundreds across Aotearoa have been affirming their commitment to what?
a. Treaty of Waitangi
b. Erica Stanford
c. Tradwives
d. Charter schools
4. A million seconds is about 11 days. How much is a billion of them?
a. 94 days
b. 9½ Weeks
c. 12 years a slave
d. 31 years
5. Which of these is not a rank in the NZ police?
a. Chief superintendent
b. Deputy commissioner
c. Inspector in charge of turning a blind eye and taking care your mates
d. Senior sergeant
6. What is now bigger than the Beatles and Jesus?
a. Seymour’s audacity
b. Judith Collins’ nerve
c. Cost of Chris Bishop’s roads
d. All of the above
7. Whose name appears in the most recent shovelfuls of Epstein evidence?
a. Baroness Michelle Mone
b. Peter Thiel of New Zealand
c. Jevon McKimming of NZ Police
d. Tim Jago of NZ Unnatural Act Party
8. Who has a starring role in what has been described as the worst TV show ever made?
a. Kim Kardashian
b. Baroness Michelle Mone
c. Meghan Markle
d. Peter Thiel
9. The COP in COP 30 stands for what?
a. Conference of the Parties
b. Carnival of the Priapic
c. Chance of Prayers
d. Cars or Planet
10. What’s a Queen Regnant?
One Trillion bonus points if you can name the first English one.
a. A Queen who’s almost pregnant
b. A Queen ruling in her own right
c. Ryan Bridge getting snarky
d. Kim Kardashian quitting a TV show
Answers
1. What was the name of the ship that left London for New Zealand in 1859 and never made it?
d. The Burmah left London in August 1959 carrying passengers and livestock. The ship was last sighted about 14 days’ sailing out from New Zealand; it was never seen again.
2. Labour will repeal what in the first 100 days?
b. The Regulatory Standards bill. If you number yourself among the 98% of submitters who opposed it, and if you find your democracy more comfortable when not strapped into an ideological straitjacket and force-fed Atlas tropes, you may want to give them your vote, and/or come along to see them do a Kirsti Noem on this dog.
3. Schools in their hundreds across Aotearoa have been affirming their commitment to what?
a. Te Tiriti, because the way we we’ve been going makes far more sense, but thanks for your input, David and Erica and Dr Brash
4. A million seconds is about 11 days. How much is a billion of them?
d. A billion seconds is about 31 years. A trillion of them is 31,000 years. For the best assessment of aspirant trillionaire Musk, here is Joyce Carol Oates ruminating on what late stage capitalism has been slopping over us.
So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend’s or relative’s accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated, uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the ‘most wealthy person in the world.
5. Which of these is not a rank in the NZ police?
c. Inspector in charge of turning a blind eye and taking care your mates
Wherever did you go, integrity? Whatever happened to all the solemn vows to do better whenever a victim steps forward? Some lessons just seem to need to be learned over and over.
6. What is now bigger than the Beatles and Jesus?
d. All of the above
7. Whose name appears in the most recent shovelfuls of Epstein evidence?
b. Peter Thiel of New Zealand
8. Who has a starring role in what has been described as the worst TV show ever made?
a. Kim Kardashian. Lucy Mangan’s zero-star review begins:
I did not know it was still possible to make television this bad. I assumed that there was some sort of baseline, some inescapable bedrock knowledge of how to do it that now prevents any entry into the art form from falling below a certain standard. But I was wrong. The new series from Ryan Murphy, All’s Fair – starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts and Niecy Nash as the founders of an all-female law firm delivering divorce-y justice to incredibly rich but slightly unlucky women under the azure skies of California – is terrible.
9. The COP in COP 30 stands for what?
a. Conference of the Parties
Godspeed to all efforts to get people who can do something about this to LOOK UP.
Let us also note: polling shows a substantial majority of people want action on this. Let us also note: there are many, many constructive actions we could be taking.
Let us also note: bullshit culture wars and malign ATLAS types and craven reactionary politicians - very much of the type to be found in our present government - are a big part of the problem.
Godspeed.
10. What’s a Queen regnant?
b. A Queen ruling in her own right. If your further answer was Mary I, or Mary Tudor, or Bloody Mary, give yourself a trillion points. Your ship has truly come in.
