And so this is Friday and what have we learned?
Our climate emergency is at Code Red, but that was Tuesday or whatever so we’re back onto other things now. But wait! Come with me now to a future I imagined last year in a Greenpeace blog, as a Goodbye Pork Pie remake.
Want to go to Invercargill? Take the electric train. There’s one leaving in half an hour because they go everywhere all the time now. They won’t need to sneak on board, their Universal Basic Income will cover the very affordable ticket.
If it still has to be a yellow mini, it’ll be a nice quiet e-vehicle, and they won’t need to steal fuel because hooking up at the power station will be cheap as chips.
They really would have to work at getting into trouble, but assuming they end up being chased by a cop on their, let’s say, yellow e-bikes, maybe they might give him the slip by pedalling into Horopito’s legendary car cemetery. Check out all the SUVs and utes, stacked up here ten high bro. No one drives a petrol car any more.
In the original, their mate in Wellington has a chop-shop garage that looks as freezing as Aro Street in February. But not in the remake. Insulated and retrofitted, the place is warm as toast. No fires burning in 44 gallon drums.
Where’s Claire, the hitchhiker? Claire’s not in this one, she’s too busy with her conservation corps job getting rid of rats and possums and restoring wetlands.
When the train hits the coast we might pull out to a nice high drone shot and see all the marine energy farms. The countryside will look different too. Paddocks full of trees and is that permaculture farming you see? You bet. In a world living on synthetic food, grass-grown produce fetches a premium that makes the whole thing viable.
A guy can dream all the way to Invercargill, son.
